Self-concept

I do agree with the self-concept statement that "to a large extent, your self-concept is formed by what others tell you about yourself, especially during the formative years of childhood". During these years is when we are trying to learn who we are and a great impact on what we think of ourselves comes from our parents, friends and teachers.

The experiences that I have had in my formative years that helped shape my self-concept have been both good and bad. I will start with the bad. My father left the home when I was 3 and hasn't ever been overly involved in my life, which left me with a feeling of abandonement. While I know my husband loves me unconditionally, I still sometimes question it and why he is with me. We have been married for 15 years and while this feeling has diminished some over the years, I don't know if it will ever completely go away. Also, when I was about 5 or 6, I was sexually abused by my aunt's boyfriend at the time and never told my mother about it until I was 16 years old. When I became sexually active, I tended to equate sex with love and still sometimes have a problem distinguishing between the two in my own life, but not when it comes to other people's relationships and when looking at it as an outsider.

Now the good. I have an absolute wonderful mother who is the one person in my life who has always been there for me, no matter what, and who has never let me down. She parented with mostly an authoritative style, with a little bit of permissive style in there too. She always made me feel that I could do and be anything I wanted and tried her best to make me realize my self-worth. I think that today I have a really good self-concept, and while as an adult I have had to come to know who I am and accept myself, I am thankful that the positive thoughts were planted in my head by my mother, it just took me awhile to allow them to grow.